Dear God, Thank you for getting me to Santa Fe in time to support Laila's soul choise: transition or miraclulous healing. To have spent this afternoon with her cancer ridden, retching, dehydrated, pain-racked and nearly hairless frail body--- and yet to look into her clear eyes and see the same Grace and Glory that has always emanated from her dancing Sufi soul.... once again You are the Everywhere Everywhen Aliveness that never dies..... eternal, beyond the body, provider of each moments perfect unfolding---- you teach me the way of awakeness to You in each instant. Amen.

Once, in the distant time 'before Daud', there was the younger incarnation of Umacharan.

Umacharan had hear of the Baba from friends, so when he chanced upon the poster announcing the Baba was to come to America, he decided to make a long pilgrimage to see him. And during that journey, as God would have it, he spent the night as guest of people who knew some secrets of the Way.

Even thusly prepared, Umacharan was greratly astonished when, the instant his eyes first saw the Baba, he beheld the shimmering blue secret mark (on the forehead between the eyes) that confirmed the Perfection of Mastery. After a few seconds, the irridescence faded, revealing under it the normal red-painted hindu third eye, and leaving Umacharan certain of what he seen, yet slightly confused. As if to answer any doubt, the Baba, walking past Umacharan, reached out and touched him on the arm.

That evening as he meditated, Umacharan experienced powerful, spontaneous 'kriyas' for the first time, a sure sign that his sleeping kundalini had been awakened by the Grace of the Baba's touch. Thus, he embarked as a new-born being, upon a long, unending journey, which rightly began as a simple teaching of doubt and faith.

"I wish to be holy,"
Daud said secretly, silently to God,
"What must I do?"
"You have done it,"
God answered,
infinitely more quietly,
"by your desire I have taken your hand....
now, we walk the Way together..."

Today, as I feel the morning sun warmth on my body,
I give you thanks, God....
As I breathe the slow breath of yogic attunement,
and I feel the graditude in my heart rise up and wash the world with freshness,
I give you thanks, God....
As I feel the chilling March winds blasting my nakedness
like a mothers hand scrubbing her infant,
I give you thanks, God.....
......for just my being Alive,
and Here,
held in your all embracing Is-ness.
From beyond the awesome,
eternal, and infinite,
you kiss my heart,
unblinding me to the Grace of your Presense
in the overlooked and commonplace.

Thank you God, for the miracles of this day....
For the Grace you have shown,
the lessons you have offered,
the peace you forever lead me toward
whenever I forget that You Are the Only Reality.
May I remain humble to your unfolding Diamond Flower within me,
standing only on your True Knowledge.
May all Beings be Freed from fear and suffering.
May my life be of use in Your service.
Amen

"What you have Seen,
use both 'Time' and 'the Now' to Be,"
the Shiva spirit said to Daud's crucified personal heart.
"Do not resist
those that destroy---
they only bring closer the ultimate Freedom,
where no 'separated you' remains."
Listening thusly to Wisdom,
Daud learns of Joy
in suffering that is not suffering,
knowing his God loves the willing.....

Once, while visiting his teacher, Daud had a dream that enlightened him greatly.
He dreamed he was bound on a medevial torture rack, dying in horrendous pain, when suddenly he began to laugh uncontrolably. His torturer, compelled to inquire, demanded to know "Why are you laughing?". Daud replied, "Because I have just seen how absolutely free God is within this Creation.... That you, dear torturer, were my own dear mother in another lifetime; and that the Divine now chooses to use our soul-bond in the most opposite way imaginable, in order to teach my soul the true meaning of Freedom.....and Love."
At that, Daud awoke in his habitual body, but into a completely transformed world. Thus did he learn to practice being grateful for all situations, and to be compassionate towards everyone.

Entry A.


(Like Confusius)
Prasad says,
"Don't believe your mind."
And Papaji says,
"Wait and See..."
And Gangaji says,
"That's right, just don't 'get into it'...."
So Daud the thinker
circles the doorway
seeking the Opening,
like the "fish that is thirsty",
while Daud the Lover
is simply Silent.



Entry B.

"Near Prescott..."

Ha!
the wild and rebellious scream--
driver of this lifetimes imaginings--
is stopped dead in its tracks
by the ten seconds of mindlessness,
when met eye to eye,
by the true aliveness
of a roadrunner just being itself.

Forgive me God, for having fallen once again into the trap of taking this life personally. Thank you for helping me to see, through the painful events of this turbulant winter, what you mean in the Bagavad Gita by "Name and Fame and Gain, and Loss and Shame and Blame are all the Same". That when I am 'of the world', i.e., lost in identifcation with a 'personal identity', I am buffetted by the capricious storms of phenomena's domain, where being right or being wrong wage viscious battle, hypnotizing the unaware. Profoundly I thank you God in me, for your constant silent Presence in which to rest, reawaken, dehypnotize, and become The Wholeness again. The smile in my heart glows as you play your love music, using a 'me' full of nobodiness as your song.... Amen